steelplatedhearts: Alternate title for The Great Gatsby: I Am Uncomfortable With Your Personal Drama And I Want To Go Home: The Nick Carraway Story
pi3rced-sirens: apparently you can’t like a band if you don’t know all the member’s full names, every word to every song they’ve ever written, how many times a day they use the bathroom, their blood type and own a sample of their hair.
big-booty-itches: when your parents ask you to help them with technology
I've been trying to reconnect with an old friend...
I haven’t talked to her in a year, really. After graduation we kinda just stopped talking. We were pretty good friends, too. Then the usual “she got a boyfriend” thing happened and she kinda just wandered away. I’m not going to say it’s all her fault because I wandered away, too. Now, for the past couple of week I’ve been trying to reconnect with her by...
nicolascageholocaust: We can only be friends if you’re kind of an asshole. Not full blown asshole because that’s no fun. And if you’re not an asshole at all then that won’t work either. A halfway asshole. Those are my kind of people.
lameborghini: for being a teen girl i sure do talk about my dick a lot
slenclerman: reasons to date me: -i can pick stuff up with my feet sometimes -ive never killed a man (yet) -i once got 95% on guitar hero -you can play with my hair -im cheaper than a puppy
If bands were students:
Fall Out Boy: The witty one that everyone likes. Was off school for a long time but is back now. Everyone missed him.
My Chemical Romance: The sensitive one who helped anyone he could. Left school in 2013
Panic! At The Disco: The kid Fall Out Boy took under his wing. Likes big words.
Blink-182: The funny one that hides behind their jokes.
Green Day: The kid in the year above that everyone looks up to.
Sleeping With Sirens & Pierce The Veil: The inseparable best friends.
Fun: The averagely known kid who wrote a one really good essay and became popular overnight.
30 Seconds To Mars: The arty one who likes to make films.
Muse & Coldplay: The massively popular ones.
All Time Low: Looks up to Blink-182. Similar sense of humour to him.
Paramore: The pretty one.
Bring Me The Horizon: The one who looks scary, but is actually quite nice.
You Me At Six: The fashionable one.
Cosmo Sex Tip #49
westbor0baptistchurch: When he is about to come scream “azarath metrion zinthos!”
lampsarepeopletoo: they call me macklemore in math class because im like what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what
hipsterinatardis: Naps are tricky because you either wake up refreshed and relaxed or you have a headache, dry throat, and are unaware of what year you’re in.
when you realize you’re nobody’s favorite anything and you just
luanlegacy: ryannxp: feathers-theangel: musicbeatstherapy: jelee-: rockpapertheodore: tinyspacebabe: ok let’s stop using the term “butthurt” we’re not 12 anymore you sound fannytroubled a little bootybothered if you ask me someone’s having a little tushytantrum a bit asswounded a tad bumbummed if you ask me analinjury alert
deluminator: my brother just walked in here with a bunch of pancakes and was like ‘wow this is a whole lot of pancakes’ and then he closed his eyes and whispered to himself ‘but i am a whole lot of man’
forever-classyx: Oh my gosh people, be nice to your waiter/waitress, it’s not their fault that your food is cold or if it’s under cooked. Be nice to the cashiers who are still training and can’t ring up your items as quickly as you want. If a stranger smiles and says hello to you, smile and say hello back! It’s just common courtesy, I don’t understand why people have to be so rude. Shut up...
oomshi: *takes your virginity & slam dunks it into the trash*
ebuddies: call my dick gatsby bc its great
Who invented the blow job? Like, who wakes up one day and thinks “today, I will suck a dick”
xsouthofheavenx: 13thmoon: problems with being nocturnal: fucking birds start singing goodmorning to the world when youre about to fall asleep THIS